Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Randomize
