oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
