So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
porn star boner night. come get it.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
