I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
