So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
