i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
