Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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