dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
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It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
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My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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