she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
