It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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