Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize