As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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