You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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