kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize