with your own penis?
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
