and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
