I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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