I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
