Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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