If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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