Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
