Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
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