you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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