you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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