If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
