Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
