Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize