so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
