wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
