We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize