i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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