Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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