at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
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