I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
