So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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