my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
