im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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