Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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