Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
now i know why i became what i already was.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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