Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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