My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
