I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I have fence marks all over my body
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
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