So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
