Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
