Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
