Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
