3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Randomize