woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
not ubering you a puppy
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