shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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