my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Can you bring me the toilet please
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
