wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
ttyl tear gas
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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