Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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