I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
